I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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