I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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