dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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