We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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