As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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