I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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