Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
