I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
