Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
