Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
home. puking in laundry basket.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
