i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
