and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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