Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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