i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
