i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
