I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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