So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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