Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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