Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
