People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
