did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
