ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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