y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?