I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.