I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have aggressive nipples.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
