do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.