thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i barfeds in our rink
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
