i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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