Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
