K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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