Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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