Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
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