dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
