That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
