Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
