I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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