Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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