Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
