The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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