fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
