Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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