Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Semen is not good for contacts.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
