This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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