He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
