wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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