YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
