Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
