real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
