is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
