Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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