3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
