brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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