fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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