I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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