hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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