We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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