At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Enjoy the penises
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
