perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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