I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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