Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
