your thong is hanging out like whoa
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
