I bet he comes in French.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
