Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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