Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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