It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
