Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
