remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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